


The Tantalizing Temptation of Teenage Tropes

by paulatheprokaryote



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Broom Cupboard, Cliche, Community: HPFT, F/M, Kissing in the Rain, Makeover, Mary Sue, Queen Bee, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-12 00:59:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7914214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paulatheprokaryote/pseuds/paulatheprokaryote
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story has it all! Flawless characters, magical makeup transformations, broom cupboards, evil queen bees, stolen kisses in the rain, and the token obnoxious friend who's unbelievably beautiful but somehow can’t hold down a boyfriend. It’s almost like it was written for PepperFinn’s Worst Story EVER Challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tantalizing Temptation of Teenage Tropes

“Do you ever feel like your life is practically a novel?” Isabelle glanced up from her heavy textbook, _Ethical Dilemmas Associated with Arcana Major_ , to scrutinize the response of her best friend, Dominique Weasley.

“What?” Dominique squawked, reluctantly tearing her eyes away from a handsome Slytherin boy sitting two tables down near Madam Pince’s desk.

“Like sometimes I feel like some author is scribbling out projections of herself onto my life. Every time everything is going good, some unnecessary plot twist seems to be introduced.” Isabelle continued, ignoring the uncomprehending look Dominique was shooting her.

“Oh, honey. Is something wrong with your characters again?” Dominique gave what she probably thought was a sympathetic smile. It was mostly condescending.

“No, no. I sorted their characterization out and most of the plot is outlined now.” Isabelle mentally swatted away the stress associated with the thought of her unfinished novel.

“Too many dates to Hogsmeade this weekend?” She tried again, this time seeming more sure of her guess.

Isabelle just sighed, shutting her book entirely.

“If only we could all be as perfect as you, Iz. Legs for days, the brains of a Ravenclaw, and an abundance of quidditch players to turn down.” Dominique’s face temporary lost the playfulness that usually resided there and turned a bit darker.

“For Merlin’s sake, if you don’t stop Mary Sueing me I’m going to spell out every single one of my flaws on your face with my fist.” Isabelle joked, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Mary who?” Dominique quirked her eyebrow questioningly.

Isabelle just narrowed her eyes in the most menacing manner she could muster.

“What flaws anyway? I mean you do suffer from allergies. All that sneezing every spring could probably count as a flaw.” Dominique mused, expertly dodging Isabelle’s attempts to smack her with the book.

“Everyone likes a feisty girl.” Dominique winked.

“Amen to that.” James, Dominique’s insufferable cousin, flopped down into the chair beside Isabelle.

“Hello, James.” Dominique and Isabelle chimed at the same time.

“What are we talking about?” James grinned at Isabelle.

“Isabelle’s existential crisis.” Dominique waved her hand dismissively.

“Oh, what spurred it today?” James asked interestedly. He stared into Isabelle’s stormy eyes just a few seconds too long.

“Too many boys wanting to take her to Hogsmeade, probably.” Dominique snickered.

“It’s stupid, don’t worry about it.” Isabelle felt her cheeks grow hot with embarrassment.

“Hey, it’s my job to worry about it!” James reached out for her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“In what way is it _your_ job?” Isabelle asked confused, ignoring the sudden increase in thuds from her thoracic cavity.

“I’m your future husband. It’s my job to worry about everything troubling you.” James squeezed her hand again emphatically.

Isabelle openly gaped at the bizarreness that was James Sirius Potter. Handsome, brilliant, quidditch captain, and prefect and here he was claiming to be her future husband.

“Close your mouth, you’re letting the nargles in.” Dominique manually clamped Isabelle’s mouth closed.

“James, you’re not my future husband.” Isabelle regained her cool, failing to choke back her tinkling of laughter.

“Not with that attitude!” He stuck his tongue out at her, prompting an eyeroll from her.

“Alright, well, I’m heading back to the common room. James, keep her company.” Dominique insisted.

“Why wouldn’t I just go back with you?” Isabelle looked positively puzzled.

 

“Because.” Dominique said simply, grabbing her bag and stalking out away.

James shot the wide-eyed girl a roguish grin and asked “What should I do to keep you company?”

“It’s almost curfew so you can take full advantage of your shiny little badge and make sure that I don’t get detention walking back to the common room.” Isabelle grinned. James did a small bow.

“I need to check out a few more books before we leave though.” She lead James to the potions section. She stretched her body as much as she could, standing on her tip-toes, but couldn’t quite reach the book she was aiming for. Suddenly, something warm pressed against her back, sending her heart racing all over again.

“Here you go,” James said, handing her the book that she had tried to reach.

“Th-Thank you.” Isabelle stammered. James gave her a coy smile before walking over to the dreaded Madam Pince’s desk. Isabelle was quite sure that Madam Pince didn’t quite fully understand the concept of a library, as she was very reluctant to let any of the students check books out.

Madam Pince looked the pair of them over suspiciously, but Isabelle was enough of a book lover that even Madam Pince could not criticize the condition of the books when they were returned. That didn’t stop her from issuing threats and she stacked the books neatly on the counter. James picked them up swiftly.

“I can carry those!” Isabelle protested.

“I don’t mind.”

The click-clack of Isabelle’s heels on the stone floor was somehow soothing to James. It seemed like it took them ages to get from the first floor corridor to the seventh floor corridor, but time had hardly passed.

Isabelle and James suddenly halted as they heard a noise that vaguely sounded like a rampaging elephant.

“Quick, hide!” Dominique whispered as she charged to them. She shoved the pair of them into a broom cupboard.

“What’s going on?” James demanded.

“Oh nothing, I just thought it’d be nice for the pair of you to spend some time together. I’ll let you out in the morning!” Dominique grinned wickedly, locking the door.

James tried alohomora approximately eleven times to no avail. Isabelle tried to kick down the door, blast it open, and vanish it. Nothing seemed to work.

“Well, get comfortable,” James said, leaning his back against the wall. The cracks of the door allowed small amounts of light to stream in.

“There’s no way that we can both sleep in here tonight. There’s not even enough room to sit down!” Isabelle whined but in like a cool manner. A cool whine, if you will. 

“I hope you can sleep standing up!” James laughed.

“This is absolutely not funny. I don’t even know why Dom would do this.” Isabelle growled.

“You know how she gets. Once she has something in her head, it must be true.” James shook his head.

“What does she have in her head?”

“That you and I are meant to be of course.” James told her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“She ships us? Where did she get that idea from?” Isabelle asked incredulously.

“I’m telling you we are going to get married one day. It’s not too far of a stretch.” James pouted.

“James, I don’t think I even want to get married. Ever.”

“Fine, we’ll be old kneazle ladies together then. I’ve been meaning to take up knitting.”

“Fine. But I’ll need to pluck my inevitably sprouting long chin hair.” She told him causing James to unconsciously rub his own chin.

“I said old ladies, not hags!” James grinned.

They both laughed until they were holding the stitches in their sides. She leaned into him, doubling over from the spasms in her side, he did the same. Suddenly his nose was touching her nose and the laughter stopped and his dark eyes were unreadable. He leaned in, swiftly, and pressed his lips gently against hers. She was so shocked that she kissed him back if only for a moment.

He jumped away, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“Sorry!” He whispered hoarsely.

“Oh.” She managed in a daze.

Before they had the opportunity to bask in their awkwardness, a soft click dragged their attention to the door. He reached out instinctively and twisted the door numb. The heavy wooden door swung open and they stared out into their freedom.

Isabelle glanced up and down the hallway. There was no sign of any teachers or prefects or even Dominique. The quick walk back to the common room was filled with uncomfortable silence.

“Uh, well–” James stammered at the edge of the stairwell.

“Good night!” Isabelle smiled shyly.

James returned the small smile before turning to the staircase.

“Isabelle,” James said hesitantly.

“Yes, James?”

“Come to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?” He asked as more of a statement than a question.

“Okay.” She nearly whispered.

“Okay?” He asked, making sure he didn’t imagine it.

“Okay.” She reiterated more confidently.

He gave her a goofy grin that made her heart flutter even faster.

Saturday morning came faster than Isabelle had anticipated and Dominique was more ecstatic than Isabelle. Isabelle rather felt like vomiting.

“WAKE UP!” Dominique shouted, ignoring protests from the other dorm mates.

“Ge’-outta-’ere” Isabelle pulled her pillow over her head, swatting blindly in hopes of making contact with the strawberry blonde menace.

“We only have four hours to get you ready for your date!” Dominique grabbed ahold of her arm flailing wildly around and tried to drag her out of bed. She fell onto the floor with a loud thud, dragging Dominique down with her.

“Two more hours of sleep and I’ll look just fine.” Isabelle argued.

“Sleep is for the weak and the ugly.” Dominique protested, pulling away from Isabelle who was trying (and failing) to smother her with a pillow. Not to death. Just to sleep.

Dominique plucked at Isabelle’s eyebrows, poked at her eyelids with black ink, and used a bizarre contraption to tug at her eyelashes. After a strenuous four hours, she did look quite lovely. Unfortunately, she was just ready to go back to bed.

Dominique and Isabelle skipped arm and arm to the great hall, breaking necks wherever they went.

Before they entered the Great Hall, excited for a quick breakfast and meeting their respective dates, a sharp claw gripped Isabelle’s arm, pulling her aside.

“You need to back off my boyfriend.” Hissed Vanessa, the self-proclaimed queen of Hufflepuff.

“Boyfriend? What boyfriend?” Isabelle asked befuddled.

“James. He’s mine, back off bitch.” Vanessa threatened.

“Does he know that he’s dating you? I only ask because he asked me to Hogsmeade this weekend and that would be very awkward.” Isabelle suddenly was questioningly the integrity of James.

“Of course he knows.” Vanessa growled.

“Alright then.” Isabelle said awkwardly unsure of what to do.

“Watch yourself.” Vanessa left with a parting smirk.

“What was that all about?” Dominique asked Isabelle when she finally sat down.

“No idea!” Isabelle gnawed on her bacon in confusion.

Dominique’s date, Jerrod Finnigan, sat across from them at the table, a dozen roses in hand. Isabelle grimaced but Dominique swooned.

“I’m keeping this one.” Dominique whispered to Isabelle when James settled down at the table.

“You do that.” Isabelle agreed.

James ate in relative silence, grinning with a mouthful of food every few moments at something Isabelle or Dominique said. When breakfast was over, he offered his arm to escort her.

“So what’s the deal with you and Vanessa?” Isabelle asked James, rounding on him in the hallway as soon as Dominique and Jerrod were out of sight.

“Vanessa who?” James looked confused.

“Don’t Vanessa Who’ me. Vanessa Zabini.”

“Oh, not this again.” James sighed darkly.

“What?”

“Vanessa Zabini keeps telling people we are dating to get them to back off. She’s become a real pain in my ass. You know she threatened ROSE the other day because she said we were too close! My own bloody cousin!”

“Well until recently your family was pureblood and in pureblood families that’s perfectly viable concern.” Isabelle reasoned.

James gave her a reproachful look.

“Well it is!” She argued.

He stopped to smile at her just before they reached the carriage. The rain was just starting to sprinkle and part of Isabelle really wanted to get out of the rain but the other part really wanted to look into James’ eyes forever. He craned his neck down and she tilted her chin up. Her lips met his but this time without the hesitation of before.

The next moment, when the kiss should have deepened, James found himself being pressed very hard from all directions. His lungs felt crushed like iron bands were around his chest. His eardrums felt like they were going to burst inside his brain. His eyes were filled with nothing but darkness.

“Well, our first real kiss was so good it made me accidentally apparate without a license in an area with a strict Anti-Disapparition Jinx,” He said aloud as he blinked and took in his surroundings. It was obviously totally true love to send him in such a magical tizzy.

He glanced around him and he was in a field of beautiful unicorns. He’d have liked to stay longer but he needed to apparate back to Hogsmeade to enjoy the day with his future wife (even if she didn’t know it yet). 


End file.
